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Monday, 21 May 2007 |
These solitary parents are performing a Herculean task. Child rearing is an extremely difficult task. And it requires the combined effort of both the parents. Performing this role single-handed, while dealing with the post-divorce emotional problems, is an effort worthy of much praise.
Post-Divorce Emotional Issues of Lone Parents
- Lone parents often feel lonely. Though there are millions of people like them their feeling of isolation persists.
- Solitary parents work continuously and the extreme pressure they handle makes them angry.
But majority of the single parents know that anger is destructive. Giving vent to their anger in a positive manner is highly beneficial for themselves and for their children. Bottled up anger is always harmful and the unfortunate victims of ire are often the people who are deeply loved.
How do single parents clear the negative emotions they feel? What are the sources of help?
Help for Lone Parents
Lone parents are going through a difficult phase. They should seek help from all possible sources.
- Help from counsellors, friends, relatives and support groups makes it possible for them to tide over the emotional difficulties they are facing.
- They can also share their feelings with other solitary parents on the internet. Sharing the difficulties they experience with other people who are in similar situations is often quite useful. They get practical tips on how to handle problems. This helps them to move ahead in life.
- Diary writing also takes the steam off negative emotions.
- The mere act of caring for oneself is a great stress buster. Simple acts performed like indulging in hobbies, going for a long pleasant walk, etc. help people relax. Caring for others in a relaxed frame of mind is easy.
Lone Parents and their Children
- Children should be encouraged to discuss their feelings openly. Asking children to give vent to their positive or negative feelings is very important. Children often pose questions that are too difficult to answer; but, still, keeping communication lines open is important.
• Children should be assured that they are not responsible for the divorce. Hearing their parents fight over them leads them to believe so.
• Children greatly fear abandonment. They should be assured that they would never be deserted.
• A solitary life takes time to get adjusted to. Patience is the required virtue.
Lone Parents and Employment
Single parents are often employed. Financial insecurity plagues them. They are more prone to turn poor.
All single parents do not turn poor, but divorce greatly affects their standard of living. They are forced to lead a life devoid of many necessities. A simple example proves this point. Just 33% of the single parents have a car, compared to 86% of double parents. They always fear financial insecurity. 79% of the single families have no savings at all.
Single Parents and Unhappy Children
Many statistics proclaim the negative effects of single parenting. Such statistics are alarming. Do children of lone parents turn to unhappy adults?
Such a belief is basically wrong and rests on improper evidence. It is not single parenthood that highlights the negative aspect in children. Rather, it is single parenthood-induced poverty that deeply affects children.
Only the poor divorce for financial reasons. And many of the divorced couples are not poor. Even among the poor, the mother often divorces the father who spends money on drink and other addictions. The money saved often gets spent on ensuring the welfare of the children.
Governmental help for lone parents enables them seek suitable employment.
Governmental Help for Lone Parents
Working lone parents (who are working for 16 hours or more per week) can receive help with child care costs through working tax credits (WTC.) This amount can measure up to 80% of the child care cost or £ 175 a week for a child and £ 300 for 2 children.
Another Government service is the New Deal for Lone Parents (NDLP.) They help lone parents seek work or offer them job-oriented training if they require.
Financial difficulties or poverty turns children to unhappy adults. Single parents do not raise unhappy children as is commonly believed.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information about using online services to get a <a href="http://www.quickie-divorce.com">Divorce</a> see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
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